Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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