you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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