I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
