I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
