Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
