by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
