Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
