As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's Friday. Sex?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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