where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
