Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
