i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
