i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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