Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
