Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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