if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
