Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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