My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
