Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
