New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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