Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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