Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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