Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
