So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
