so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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