i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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