just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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