Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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