Don't make out with my wife yet
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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