I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
