Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
