Sry I called you an 8
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
