When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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