My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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