I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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