We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
