Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
