Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
