so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
