I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm always down for nudity.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
