dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
