Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they need to just BURY HIM!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
