Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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