He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
