Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
