cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
