I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
