So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
