It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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