It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
