im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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