Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I look better un-naked...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
